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2007-09-11 [DeadBear]: Lust~
looking and waiting
wanting to a need
cant back away with this thing i shall not heed
i want it i need it this lust of my life
a dance between two
a tango at night
i lust after it
like a smoker to there deadly nicoteen
a junkie to the bitter sweet candy
just a drag or a drip
its just a lick or a suck.
ill never call you back to me its just a fuck.
this clouds my mind like smoke
seeping in
you cant just lay low youll breath it in
clouding poluting
no clearness
no breath thats how itll rule if you want to be me.
Submitted by [DeadBear]
2007-09-11 [Jitter]: Uhm. That is not really the way to enter :)
You have to click this button: and add your work in the same fashion with the others, below the last <hr> tag. And if you could fix your 'I's and your apostrophes it would be great!
2007-09-13 [Tickle Me Emo]: I hope spaces don't count, and that Latin is ok...
I probably should have asked first before simply posting.
2007-09-13 [Linderel]: Spaces usually don't count. I have no inkling of Latin, but personally I have nothing against it either. Your opinion, Jitter?
2007-09-13 [Jitter]: Nah I guess it gives it a nice feel :)
And I went with the usual way things were done so yeah spaces don't count :)
2007-09-13 [james2777]: well i tryed it did not all ryme but i did cover greed, glotney,lust,e
2007-09-13 [Tickle Me Emo]: Cool, that makes me a happy person.
Usually Googling the Latin will bring up the meaning, or I could translate...
2007-09-14 [herrschneemann]: Ok, my 'poem' is mostly meant to be humourous, and not to be taken so seriously X)
I don't want to offend anyone who put effort into this contest =S
2007-09-14 [Triola]: Haha, yours is awesome! xD
2007-09-14 [Tickle Me Emo]: Basically the best one so far, imho, haha
2007-09-16 [Jitter]: Actually I LOLed [herrschneemann] ;)
[james2777] please fix the typos/spelling mistakes :)
2007-09-16 [james2777]: there better? maybe sorta kinda hell i dont know i tried at least not very good at this potery stuff as you can see.... hay at lest i dident try to draw a picture so be pleased at that :)
2007-09-18 [Linderel]: Gack. [TAnachronism], next time you try to submit, be a bit more careful, please. We don't really appreciate people wiping out the whole damn page.
2007-09-19 [FlowerGirl21]: ((eh, whatever happened to the 3-30 lines?))
2007-09-19 [Jitter]: I was about to just check on it. Thanks.
[TAnachronism] your poem is 52 lines long - Please adjust
(That is without spaces)
just a reminder to everyone" Please read the rules :)
PS- I know there are some poems that are 31-32 lines but I guess we can handle up to 32 lines
2007-09-19 [Jitter]: Also [james2777], [Lin-tastic] and [TAnachronism] have some spelling mistakes. Fix them please if you wish.
2007-09-19 [Linderel]: I've actually been thinking that we should extend the line limit. I sympathise with people who write longer stuff, even if I usually don't, myself.
You know, I just thought of a perfect line limit: 42.
2007-09-19 [Jitter]: And it is also the answer to all questions o_O xD
42 it is :P
(I used to write really long poems but they were freeverse so I guess it doesn't really count x) )
2007-09-22 [Lin-tastic]: I apologize for not checking my spelling. I haven't been on lately. ^_^" I'll fix them now, though.
2007-09-22 [Jitter]: No worries :) Thanks for fixing :D
2007-09-22 [Lin-tastic]: ^_^ No problem! I liked rereading it to fix the mistakes, though. XD
2007-09-23 [james2777]: i did spell check on it : / on less my spell checky thing is messed up but i dont think so
2007-09-23 [Lin-tastic]: 'Their' isn't misspelled. I don't think 'oance' is a word...I think you mean 'There once' instead. ^_^"
2007-09-23 [Jitter]: Yeah, there are some typos in there :) www.dictionary
2007-09-23 [Lin-tastic]: I like the latter, personally.
2007-09-23 [Jitter]: Yeah same here :)
2007-09-24 [Artsieladie]: Editing Assistance - Elftown is in need of editors. This is just the reason why I set up this wiki to help with members' written works. If anyone is interested, please message me. I don't normally spam, but the topic is right.
2007-09-25 [Jitter]: Proof-reading offers can never be considered spam <3
PS- Took the liberty to make Verses-> versus :3 Hope you're ok with it Ladie
2007-09-25 [Triola]: Ladie
I read that as laddie, and it sounded very wrong, somehow o.O
2007-09-25 [Jitter]: haha xD i remember when I was 12-13 I was playing a game on SNES and I had a dude, so a boss calls me "Laddie" and I was like "Eh... He's not a lady...?" x)
2007-09-25 [Triola]: xP Whenever I hear laddie I think of pervy old sailors, for some reason >.>
2007-09-25 [Jitter]: I think of Vernon Dursley x) Laddie and ruddy must be his favourite words :P
2007-09-25 [Triola]: Hmm, and here I thought it was freak and funny business x)
2007-09-25 [Jitter]: ;P I think it's sailor dialect though, really xD
2007-09-25 [Triola]: Hehe, yeah... or Scottish :P
2007-09-25 [Jitter]: Mmmm Kilts <3
2007-09-25 [Triola]: Worn the proper way :3
2007-09-25 [Jitter]: ^^
2007-09-25 [Artsieladie]: *feels ashamed* I knew there was something wrong there, but my mind is on a dozen other things & it just didn't click. Now...I know what it was! Thanks! :D When I joined ET & was thinking up a name with my daughter's input, we both thought 'ladie' was better than 'lady', b/c it's a little different. :P
2007-09-25 [Jitter]: I like it ^^
No worries. I spelled "written", "writteb" some weeks ago x)
2007-09-25 [Artsieladie]: Yeah, I kinda' like it. Sometimes I run into someone in real life that is an ET member & they call me Artsie_ladie & it seems to fit as well as my real name. :P *nods & grins* I remember. I hate making 'boofs', especially when I notice them a considerable amount of time later. :P
2007-09-25 [Tickle Me Emo]: I hate it when you make a mistake and spell check doesn't catch it because it's not misspelled... That's what really sucks :D
2007-09-26 [Triola]: What's worse is having looked over what you've written like a thousand times, and then have [Linderel] come and find four mistakes within the minute :P
2007-09-26 [Triola]: Hehe, yeah, she's awesome, and since I hate making mistakes, she's useful too :P
2007-09-26 [Jitter]: ^^ *slobbers Lin in secret*
2007-09-26 [Artsieladie]: Yes, I agree, [Tickle Me Emo]. Sometimes, I go with a word, even though it says it isn't, but I think it should be. lol Like 'boof', which is my own word, a cross between a boo-boo & a goof. ...And with someone like [Linderel] around, she keeps us on our toes! :D
2007-09-26 [Tickle Me Emo]: As long as I'm not editing my own work, I'm ruthless :)
But I can't stand reading my own writing, haha. Which is why all my essasy suck.
2007-09-27 [Linderel]: *is slobbered* :o
2007-09-28 [wicked fae mage]: I really like theses poems here^^
2007-10-13 [Zircon]: Not a lot of entries eh?
2007-10-13 [Jitter]: Nah the entries are ok here, the problem is in the photography page ;p
2007-10-14 [Lite]: The spaces between lines don't count, do they?
2007-10-14 [Jitter]: No they don't. :) Thank you for your entry ^^
2007-10-14 [Zircon]: Nice poem Lite.
2007-10-14 [Lite]: Thank you! Just messin around with words...
2007-10-16 [JRB]: [TAnachronism] you have a really good poem i really like it
2007-10-16 [Jitter]: Unfortunately if it isn't fixed by the deadline it will be out of contest though.
2007-10-16 [JRB]: really that poem whould be out? that sucks its a good poem and how manny poems can we enter?
2007-10-16 [Jitter]: It might be a good poem but I have asked the writer to adjust it for the contest almost a month ago and they have ignored me. The rules clearly state the poems should be 3-42 lines and this one is 52 lines long. I have managed to shrink it without removing any content so the writer should be able to do so too.
Read the rules in The Seven Deadly Sins Competition, it says there you can only have 1 entry.
2007-10-16 [JRB]: ok sorry i was kinda in a hurry i had to go to work and i wastrying to read it but at the same time rushing through it but ill read it
2007-11-16 [Aldalome]: is it possible that I correct two grammar mistakes from my entry? line 9, you = he & last line waiting to awaken. please?
2007-11-17 [Linderel]: Sorry, but no - it would be unfair to let one person edit their entry, since the judging has already begun. Had you asked right after the closing, it might have been alright, but now there just isn't a way. :)
2007-11-18 [Aldalome]: can I correct it later on than? After a winner has been chosen? Because I just don't like the fact that I still make mistakes in spelling.
2007-11-18 [Jitter]: Yeah after the winners are chosen I guess it's ok :)
2007-11-18 [Aldalome]: Thank you :)
2007-11-18 [Jitter]: You're welcome :)
2007-11-22 [JRB]: when will the winner(s) be chosen? and will you send them a PM if they win?
2007-11-22 [Lite]: Same, for the art and poetry winners
2007-11-22 [JRB]: wich is?
2007-11-22 [Lite]: Can they send me a PM
2007-11-22 [Triola]: The winners will be selected when the Council and the Assembly have finished selecting them, and they will be announced when there is a free spot on the news :) Everyone will then get a badge and a guestbook message, if you didn't win the message will go something like "Squirrel squirrel squirrel (/bookworm/lady
2007-11-22 [Triola]: *slobbers* :3
2007-12-22 [Aldalome]: Since the winners where announced today, can I please fix the spelling mistakes in my poem?
2007-12-22 [Jitter]: Fixed but I "waiting to awaken" is grammatically incorrect. It's either "waiting to awake" or "waiting to be awaken"
2007-12-22 [Aldalome]: So it was right in the first place? Damn, I really should ask people who can actually speak english to check my gammar and spelling, because it is obviously not working as planned
2007-12-22 [Linderel]: Uh, no, 'waiting to awaken' is perfectly fine. Maybe. Now I'm not sure. xD
2007-12-22 [Artsieladie]: I think "waiting to awaken" is correct, but in the 6th verse, "devourer you"? I think it should be "devour you". :P There is a wiki called Editing Assistance - Elftown for this purpose, [Aldalome]. :) We need more editors than just [Linderel] & I, though. Anyone interested? *shameless plug* :P
2007-12-22 [Linderel]: Oh, yes! I noticed that one back when [Aldalome] first asked to correct the errors.
2007-12-22 [Artsieladie]: :)
2007-12-22 [Jitter]: Actually there can only be the infinitive form of the verb after the particle 'to'. At least that's what I recall from grammar lessons ^^;
Quoting from wikipedia:
In grammar, infinitive is the name for certain verb forms that exist in many languages. In the usual (traditional) description of English, the infinitive of a verb is its basic form with or without the particle to: therefore, do and to do, be and to be, and so on are infinitives.
This site seems to have quite a great source of grammar rules too but it's too late for me to check more now. I think this link might help:
http://www.edu
http://www.edu
(I'm not a native speaker either)
2007-12-22 [Triola]: Thing is, 'awaken' is the infinitive form of the verb 'to awaken' ;)
2007-12-22 [Jitter]: Hm maybe I'm wrong. I thought 'awake' is the infinitive form of it. Awaken sounds like the past participle of it :o *googles*
2007-12-22 [Triola]: Awake is a verb, awaken is another :) the past participle of awake I think is awoken
2007-12-22 [Jitter]: awake is usually an adjective: "I am awake." Awaken is always a verb, either transitive ("A noise awakened me") or intransitive ("At dawn I awakened"). Awaken is more formal than wake up. The word up is often unnecessary: "I woke at dawn."
Just found that :P ^ So I am apparently wrong ^_^; Oh well, lucky I already have my degree, no? x)
2007-12-22 [Linderel]: Yaaaaay Trin <3
2007-12-22 [Triola]: I can when I want to >.> <.< >.>
2007-12-22 [Jitter]: Actually I think "awaken" is a regular verb (at least based on my -not very trusted- google search *giggles*
2007-12-22 [Jitter]: Hey my argument was correct! What I lacked was the knowledge of the existence of the verb 'awaken' as infinitive xP
2007-12-22 [Triola]: Haha, you have the grammar, I have the vocabulary, and together we can beat even Lami! Maybe >.>
2007-12-22 [Linderel]: At least a tired Lami :P
2007-12-22 [Jitter]: xD
I have vocabulary too! :D It is just not as up to date as I thought it was <.< >.< <3
We can found the grammar police and make Lami the chief :P
2007-12-22 [Linderel]: Jitter, your other suggestion was off, though. "waiting to be awaken" <- that should be 'awakened' in there :P
2007-12-22 [Triola]: Our Hitler <3 And you and I can be Goebbels and Himmler :D
2007-12-22 [Linderel]: Guys, I think this is getting seriously offtopic xD
2007-12-22 [Jitter]: Linderel: Jitter, your other suggestion was off, though. "waiting to be awaken" <- that should be 'awakened' in there :P
That was before I found out about the existence of said verb ;p So if we wipe that verb off the picture my argument is still correct xD
2007-12-22 [Linderel]: Mweehee :P
2007-12-22 [Jitter]: Gotta love grammar-talk just after midnight ;p
2007-12-22 [Triola]: Still wrong, 'cause it would have been "waiting to be awoken" :P
2007-12-22 [Linderel]: I faaaaaail xD *commits seppuku* No wait, I don't. I think 'waiting to be awakened' is correct. Gimme proof that says otherwise. :P
Oh yes. Depends on which verb was used. Duuuhh. Must not let Lami debate grammar when tired. Honestly.
2007-12-22 [Tickle Me Emo]: (this is why people can study in other countries and fail their native language class... o.0
I never learned any of this stuff!)
2007-12-22 [Linderel]: Haha... I'm Finnish, Trin is Norwegian, and Jitter is Greek xD
2007-12-22 [Tickle Me Emo]: And you all know English better than I do o.0
2007-12-22 [Triola]: Ah, how shall I put this? Oh, yeah: we rock xD
2007-12-22 [Tickle Me Emo]: lol, or perhaps American schools are just abysmal :P
2007-12-23 [Maeve104]: Tis true! As an American, I say our public school system is officially horrid! X$
2007-12-23 [Maeve104]: (Though I think it is "waiting to be awoken"..?) >_O
2007-12-23 [Aldalome]: I am from Belgium and I give up. Next time I'll check with editing assistance first. I didn't know that such a thing existed. Thanks to all of you.
2007-12-23 [Linderel]: [Maeve104]: That depends on which verb was used. With the verb 'awake' it would indeed be 'waiting to be awoken' and with the verb 'awaken' it would be 'waiting to be awakened'. :)
2007-12-23 [Jitter]: Linderel: I faaaaaail xD *commits seppuku* No wait, I don't. I think 'waiting to be awakened' is correct.
It is. I was teasing you :)
As for the rest... *giggles* xD (it was midnight and I was tired anyway ;p)
2007-12-23 [Linderel]: Except that that was a comment to Trin :P
2007-12-23 [Maeve104]: *is confuzzled, falls over, buried by the English language* Eek!
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